Those are the rules that I just made up.

AND I'M BACKING IT UP WITH THIS GUN that was brought to me by the National Rifle Association.

Gotta love Eddie.

I've found myself in a chat room more often. This one is called Meez. It's a virtual avatar site where you create your person to your liking and have them interact with other avatars. The site is designed for youths but many people over 18 use it as well. These people are called Meezer Geezers.

A big warning about the site, however, is VERY corporate. It gets by mostly by paid sponsors and constant ads before each page that cannot be skipped unless you are a VIP, which you pay for monthly. The VIP option gives you other goodies of course. Also, to buy clothes and furniture for yourself and your room, respectively, costs coinz. You earn these by reading the newsletter, taking corporate surveys (BAD IDEA) or playing games. However, you can purchase coinz with a credit card too, or buy a "Meez Card" at your local supermarket or convenience store. Now you are a consumer whore.

Thing is, it's still very fun. I've made almost 40 friends that I keep in constant contact with on the site and we meet regularly. I know that sounds like a lot of people and it is, especially when I'm only on two hours a day. Maybe three or four if I have nothing to do.

Here's a shot:



The two people to the right are my friends Michelle and Jeff. Michelle is a moderator for the site, keeping it clean for all those stupid little fuckers.

So as you can tell, social networking is a huge time suck. Excuse me. I must return to Twitter.

Check your life span Pt. 2.

Anyone remember this song?



It's "Kill the Sexplayer" by Girls Against Boys, a band I referenced in my first entry. The song was used in "Clerks" to introduce Jay and Silent Bob, and immediately lodged itself into my brain. I was so thrilled when I got a copy of the album. You couldn't ask for better 90's music.

Disposable Dixie Cup Drinker.

Title is three references; a line in the song "I am Trying to Break Your Heart" by Wilco, a reference to the character Brodie Bruce in the Kevin Smith film "Mallrats," with Brodie being a reference to one of Kevin's friends, Walt Flanagan. God I'm a geek. And I loves me some Kevin Smith.

So this is about movies, obviously. I got out to see "Whip It!" yesterday. I have been waiting all year for it to come out, mostly for Ellen Page, who I adore. The weird thing is, I wasn't too into it. Ellen Page was spectacular, as was everyone else (and Beef Supreme himself, Andrew Wilson, did a perfect job as the coach), and Drew Barrymore did a fine job directing, but it just felt mediocre overall. I'm not disappointed, though, since it was still mildly entertaining. Still, I don't think I'll be adding it to my DVD collection when it comes out.

I did however, add two new ones to my massive collection. I picked up a copy of "Drag Me To Hell," my second favorite movie of the year behind "Inglourious Basterds," and also a copy of "Donnie Darko," which I had been meaning to see for years. It lived up to everything I expected, except the assumption that it had no real meaning and was a fucked up movie. I was able to piece the plot together but I still have to get all the symbolism.

By the way, is anyone excited about the "Boondock Saints" sequel coming out in two weeks? I am appalled at the fact that Troy Duffy thinks he can capture lightning in a bottle twice with this franchise. The first movie gained its cult status by word of mouth and was only available in Blockbuster upon original release. And I highly doubt the sequel will only be in 50 theaters for one week. The only people that are going to see this are fans of the first film, so don't expect it to rake in the big bucks, Duffy.

And to be honest, say what you will about "Boondock Saints," but after all the fun, action, and humor, the movie is still a piece of shit. Yes, it's insanely cool and I like it a lot, but it's still a piece of shit. I know I'm in the minority for thinking that, but think of this; "Dirty Work," the Bob Saget-directed and Norm MacDonald-starring movie from the 90's is one of the worst movies ever, but will have you squealing long after the movie is over. Don't believe me? Rent it. I don't think there's a single person out there that would call it a "good" movie.

On an end note, I finished my third day at Taco Bell. I'm still under review and don't get paid for three weeks, but things are looking promising. Chin up.

Cheers.

End of Decade in Review.

No song title today, but I might make another post. For now I'd like to talk about the next three months.

Or two and a half, because after that, we are ushered into the second decade of the new millenium. I grew up in every minute of the 90's, but they ended when I was 13. I've lived more and saw more than I thought I would these past almost 10 years. Major occurences in history. A plethora of new bands have emerged, as did new standard classics. Even legendary bands from my youth have reunited in large numbers. New movies have come out that will stand the test of time.

We witnessed arguably two of the most historic elections in our nation's history. The 2004 election had at the time the largest voter turnout ever, with thousands of youth registering to vote. It was a close race and although our partisanship had become very divided, that was a great year to be American.

The 2008 election was even bigger. Both parties looking for new candidates. Big surprises. We would either have the first female VP in office or the first black man to take office, the latter being the end result. This event was recognized all over the world and millions rejoiced at the Democratic victory, hoping that peace would come to restore the country.

Unfortunately, we also faced one of the biggest tragedies in nation's history as well. I don't need to say what it was since everyone knows, but 2001 was a tough year. We were very confused yet we became united those next few months to become the strong nation that we are today. Thousands perished, yet thousands of heroes arose. Ordinary citizens. My father works in a building across from what is now Ground Zero. He heard the planes hit from outside his window. He evacuated everyone safely out of their office and everyone was safe. I have more respect for him than I ever have.

On a lighter note, let's not forget the media. Aside from new movies and music, we had the Janet Jackson incident, Lindsay Lohan's tabloid debut, several new groundbreaking shows such as "House" and "Lost," the rise of the social networking websites, the death of a pop legend, etc. New artists to emerge such as the White Stripes, Bloc Party. Acts that have never stopped playing, such as U2, Springsteen, smaller bands such as 311 and Incubus, the former now celebrating 20 years.

For movies, independent film is at an all-time high, with the emergence of films such as "Sideways," "Little Miss Sunshine," "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "Juno," and many others.

There is so much that has gone on this past decade that could go on for pages, but I will end for now. It was a great time to be alive.

Peace.

Something glorious is about to happen.

Title of this post is from "Positive Tension" by Bloc Party off their "Silent Alarm" album. The first time I put the CD on it gave me chills. It's perfect in every way and if I was the producer I would change nothing about it.

I'm about to talk about my bipolar disorder. If you don't like discussions about mental disorders, ignore this post and browse around to the meager other five I wrote, another one being about it as well.

For the readers that know me, I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 in December of 2005. As of this writing I take 10 pills for it, split up into four separate medicines, and a sedative as needed. The amount of this medicine inhibits me from doing things I'd like to do at my age, such as drink more than two beers at parties, or maybe smoke up if a friend invites me, even though I kicked the habit over the summer. The thing is, I want to be a regular experimental yet struggling 20-something. Instead, I am a very troubled, sick, and struggling 20-something.

But I realized something. I finally accept my disorder. I have recently come to terms with my life and am at peace with myself. I do not know if it is perpetual mania or if I am finally enlightened, despite the fact that I will still have mood swings, but now I know how to handle them. I have experienced things long enough to know how to handle a situation and how to stop and excuse myself if something should happen in a public situation. I have learned to be selfish, because what it comes down to is that I have to look out for myself first. I live this life only once and I want to look back in my old age and think I lived an important and full life.

I have the luck of having of a loving family that supports me and is behind all my choices. They send me to two therapists that I respect and trust. If I ever feel I need to commit myself, they stand behind my decision. I couldn't ask for a better support system than my family.

After living almost five years with the disorder I have come to the realization that if a cure to bipolar was discovered tomorrow, I would not take it. I would not take it because I am so used to living like this that if I was "better," I would not know how to react. This life is too familiar to me and I finally accept it now.

That's all for now.
Peace.

Noich noich noich shmokin' weed shmokin' weed.

No song title name this time. Quote is from "Clerks" and "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back."

I am going to be updating more often since a lot more goes on than I expected.

More good music has come out recently. AFI's "Crash Love" is actually pretty decent and a lot better than the last two shit albums they made. Brand New's new album "Daisy" is unsurprisingly disappointing with a large amount of suck. I was partial to their last album but it didn't sound spectacular and this new album is just 2-3 minute versions of those songs.

I gotta give props to Jemina Pearl, though. Her new album "Break it Up" is as wonderful as I expected. I absolutely adore her. I knew it would have a friendlier sound than her old band, Be Your Own PET, but that doesn't mean she's any less amazing. She still has the same attitude and is still the queen of punk rock right now. Buy her album and be dazzled. Big points for Iggy Pop doing a song with her. He is the Godfather of punk after all.

That is my music post for today. I'm about to write another post, one I actually planned on writing today. Until then...

I don't flip burgers I'm a college graduate.

Not really a graduate. Again they are song lyrics, this time from mc chris's "Illy oi!"

Jemina Pearl's new album came out and I got it and am very satisfied. It's a tad poppier sound-wise and lyrics-wise than Be Your Own PET (Jemina's old band, and one of my favorite), but I'm so faithful to her work I can't help but love it.

I know it's been a while since I updated. Since I last updated I committed myself to rehab a fourth time, vacationed in Colorado, and got a new job. It's minimum wage part-time at Taco Bell but I was promised my original position in the next six months, which is full-time shift supervisor at $11 an hour. Can't wait to start bringing in some good money. I'll finally be able to pay rent.

I'm kinda drawing a blank right now but I'll update more I promise!

Sawed-off shotgun HAND ON THE PUMP.

Title from "Da Rockwilder" by Method Man & Redman. Their new album feels over-produced. Too much sheen, not enough rhythm. It's hard to top an album like "Blackout!" Either way, the album came out the same day as Eminem's recent album, and it's better than that, so whatever.

Had my first job interview yesterday at Staples. There is a follow-up on Monday. This will be my first job in almost three years. It's being done through an employment services agency. Reason I need their help is due to mental illness deeming me almost unemployable ever since I left my last job in 2006.

In 2005 I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder after coming home from self-committing myself to a rehab center after a mental breakdown that led me to attempt to break up with my then-girlfriend, and emotional exhaustion that was causing suicidal tendencies. I have since committed myself three times with two out-patient programs. I am also dosed up to the eyeballs on anti-psychotics to keep me from bouncing off the wall. I've been doing pretty good for about four months now.

That previous paragraph is taken from my online dating profile. I am still single and don't know why.

This job will finally get me the money I need to pay rent for the new place and also to get a new music sequencer to completely rip off Adam Goren. If you want really funny odd punk music, check that dude out. I have much respect for him (look under "Atom & His Package"). A new demo will be in the works, due to the fact that there is now only one copy of my previous in existence and it has probably been destroyed. And it also sucks, so I'm hoping nobody ever hears it.

Barbecue in the rain coming up. Gitmahdrinkon.

No one counts until they're dead.

Title of blog is from the song "Closed Captioned" by Fugazi. Ian Mackaye is a personal hero of mine.

I said I'd talk a lot about the music industry and this is no exception.

I started out in a magazine as associate editor with my friend Nikki and we only had one issue but I made connections with about 14 bands, even reviewing Magnolia Electric Co. The review sucked but they didn't tell me that. I scout out shows and help film/photograph bands and have roadied for a band on a summer tour. Basically living my dream. The next step? Record label.

Harkening back to the first paragraph, Ian Mackaye fucking rocks. I'm not going to get into the ethics of Dischord Records (Mackaye's label), but it's an artist's and fan's dream, with affordable quality music and cheap shows. I'm planning a letter to Ian asking for some pointers on how to start my own indie label in NJ with the same game plan, including finding small venues and charging $5 a show. Thing is, I'll be signing whoever I can grab; rappers, hardcore, goth metal, avant-garde, etc. I want people to fall in love with the diversity of this future label, see the quality and discover that they can explore other genres on the label.

This is a large undertaking for me as I am also recording a new demo with a now-tuned guitar and repaired saxaphone. Also, look for a YouTube channel under my rock-monicker.

There's so much more I can do. I'll explain why later.

We are rock 'n roll, yes we are so ghetto.

Title from "Ghetto Rock" by Mos Def off of his album "The New Danger." I highly recommend his new album, "The Ecstatic." Full of spirit, very upbeat, positivity flowing and surprisingly clean for a modern rap album that doesn't suck. Yes I think it's better than Eminem's new album, which I just can't get through. I guess I miss the first two albums.

Job search today wielded sparse results. MAY have an interview next week with two places but I'm not holding my breath. I have applied to 12 stores in the past two weeks. They're not even bought at the tax incentive, more info on that later. Point is, I can't find a job.

It's hard to pick a favorite Kevin Smith movie. He's my current favorite director and I love all his movies dearly (except for "Jersey Girl," which in my world, he didn't make), but find myself switching between what my favorite is. I actually did the right thing and watched the Askewniverse movies in order. "Clerks" is just an experience for me. It's so simple yet the conversations that I WISH I had at my past jobs are so satisfying, as well as the customers' reactions. I know that when "Clerks II" came out, a ton of teens that had never seen any of his movies went and saw it and considered it his best, claiming the original wasn't as mainstream. Yes I love the sequel, but it is just not his best movie.

Keep it gangsta.

Check your life span.

Title from an awesome Girls Against Boys song. I don't know the name of it, though... Does anybody else do this? You listen to an entire album, do it a couple times, get the songs into your memory, then not bother to know the song names? GvsB is big on my play list right now.

If you decide to read my shit (not that kind of shit, but this shit), you'll notice I'm going to be writing about music a lot. I used to interview local bands and made a one-issue fan-zine with a close friend. I still occasionally visit bands in recording studios and get the word out about new albums. I am against big chain retailers and do not mind the 25 minute drive to the independent record store. Check out Vintage Vinyl (www.vvinyl.com) in Fords, NJ. Voted one of the top five record stores by Rolling Stone. They're a great place to get used albums for under $5 and also a great place for vinyl.

Cat requests food.

ktxbi.

P.S.
FUCK SHINEDOWN.